Feeling Down in the Dumps About Your Puppy? Here’s Why You’re Totally Normal.

If you recently brought home an adorable ball of fur, but you feel like you’re falling apart, you may have the Puppy Blues — a real (and normal) reaction for puppy owners.

Perhaps you expected that after getting a puppy, you’d be floating on cloud nine with this new love in your life — y’know, like the honeymoon phase of a relationship, except cuter and fluffier — but for some reason, instead, you’re hovering somewhere around cloud zero…

Sure, you like your pup. She has those adorable ears, and you feel the warm fuzzies when she licks your hand or curls up in your lap. But then, she makes another mess on the carpet and you want to scream. You’re feeling more overwhelmed each day, and wondering if this will ever improve.

Is it supposed to be love at first sight? Or first bite? Because, those puppy teeth are sharp.

To make matters worse, when your friends meet your puppy, you’re starting to feel personally attacked by their “oohs” and “aahs” and “you must be so happy!” and “I wish I could take her home with me!”

And you’re sitting there, fake smiling, thinking to yourself: “Yes, PLEASE take her home with you. Was that a serious offer? Wait, no, I think they were just joking. Right? What are jokes anymore? I am so exhausted. When are they going to leave?”

You feel like a terrible dog owner, like your time isn’t even yours anymore, and you’re starting to regret getting a puppy in the first place. I mean, you must be the only person in the world who doesn’t enjoy living with one of the cutest creatures on the planet… right?

Wrong. Quite wrong.

Many people feel this way after bringing home a puppy. The experience is so common that it even has a name: Puppy Blues.

Here’s why the emotions you’re feeling are extremely relatable, natural, and — most importantly — temporary (I promise).

What Are Puppy Blues?

Puppy Blues, also referred to as Post-Puppy Depression, is the label for feelings of anxiety, depression, frustration, hopelessness, guilt, or regret that a person may experience after bringing home a puppy.

Puppy Blues may include feelings such as:

• Irritability, moodiness, or anger.

• Sadness, heaviness, or despair.

• Resentment that your time isn’t yours anymore.

• Guilt or sadness that you don’t love this puppy the way you’re supposed to.

• Grief for the loss of your old life.

• Regret over getting a dog, or considering rehoming your pup.

These feelings are real and they are normal. Feeling this way doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you or your new furry pal. Based on the lifestyle changes and amount of work required to take care of a puppy, it’s completely natural to feel this way.

What Causes Puppy Blues?

The short answer? Puppy Blues are the natural result when you combine the following ingredients:

Extreme exhaustion

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Major lifestyle changes

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The weight of being responsible for another living thing

Allow me to elaborate. (Or, if the short answer was good enough for you, by all means, go ahead and skip down to the next part. Who am I to stop you?)

There's a Reasonable Explanation for These Feelings

Some psychologists have compared this condition to the feelings of anxiety and depression many people feel after having a baby. While a newborn baby represents a much bigger life change and has a more direct impact on your body (e.g. hormones, for one thing), there are some important similarities between bringing home a baby human and bringing home a baby pup:

• You are suddenly responsible for taking care of a little one that cannot take care of itself.
  

• You have to make big changes (some temporary, others permanent) to your lifestyle — including sleep schedule, meals, and leisure time.
  

• This type of caretaking is demanding, requires you to learn new skills, and the jobs aren’t all pleasant.
  

• You will get less sleep, especially in the first few months, as most little ones don’t sleep through the night — leading to chronic exhaustion (which impacts your emotions).
  

• You likely had a vision in your mind of what life would be like with this new little one; and 10 times out of 10, the reality doesn’t match what you envisioned.
  

• You feel a lot of pressure — from others, or perhaps even more from yourself — to be the “perfect” caretaker. And since no one is perfect, this leads to stress and anxiety about failing or doing it “wrong.”

With all of these factors combined, it’s no wonder that your exhausted brain may be hit with emotions of uncertainty, guilt, anxiety, and even regret about your decision to get a dog in the first place.

It’s fully understandable if you’ve spent sleepless nights thinking through your options for giving the dog back, while mentally kicking yourself: How did I possibly think it was a good idea to get a dog? What was I thinking?!

The truth is, you were actually thinking differently before you got the puppy than you are right now, according to science.

When you are sleep-deprived, your brain cannot focus well, and you are more prone to negative thinking, worrying, and reacting more intensely to situations. This is a real effect. You aren’t just grumpy because you didn’t get to sleep in — your brain’s functioning is impacted.

This isn’t your fault, and you weren’t wrong about wanting a puppy. It just means you may need to adjust and develop some strategies for working with your brain in its current state, and helping yourself manage until you get through the Puppy Blues.

And, I’m glad you brought that up, because yes — they do end!

How Long Do Puppy Blues Last?

The length of time you’ll be feeling Puppy Blues varies from person to person. These emotions may come and go, or they may linger for a few weeks or months at a time. The most important thing to remember is that they don’t last forever.

No matter how long you experience anxiety or depression about your puppy, these feelings will eventually end.

How do I know for sure?

It Will Get Better - Here's Why

Remember that equation from a few paragraphs ago about what causes Puppy Blues? No need to scroll back up, I’ll remind you. The ingredients for Puppy Blues are:

Extreme exhaustion

+

Major lifestyle changes

+

The weight of being responsible for another living thing

The reason that your Puppy Blues will end is that these ingredients will inevitably dissipate. As your puppy gets older, and is able to sleep through the night (especially if you’ve done crate training), you’ll be able to get more sleep — goodbye extreme exhaustion.

As you adjust to life with a dog, you’ll settle into new routines of being a dog owner. Yes, your lifestyle will have changed, but it won’t be chang-ing anymore. You will arrive at a new normal — goodbye major lifestyle changes.

And as for the weight of being responsible for a living thing, as you adapt, it won’t feel so heavy anymore. As you and your pup learn how to live together, the feeling of responsibility will also come with bursts of love, appreciation, companionship, and joy. You may always feel some amount of worry about the wellbeing of your dog, because you care. That’s natural. But she’ll also make you laugh at her goofy sleeping positions; and lick your tears away during a sad movie; and give you a reason to go outside and toss a ball; and curl up to warm your feet while you’re writing a blog post about puppy blues (or something cooler than that).

You may be lost in the sea of housebreaking and teething right now, but the weight of this won’t feel crushing forever. Partially because you’ll adapt, and partially because with the other two ingredients out of the equation, there’s no longer fuel to make this responsibility feel so overwhelmingly world-ending. But mostly because the work of dog ownership will be offset by all the joys of dog ownership: having a companion who loves you, thoroughly and unconditionally, just for being you.

So, here are your important reminders during this phase of your life. Repeat them to yourself as many times as you need to get through the day:

• Feeling post-puppy depression and anxiety (aka Puppy Blues) is normal. You are normal.

• There’s a very reasonable explanation for what’s happening in your brain that makes you feel this way.

• You’re not a bad dog owner.

• This is temporary. It will get better.

• You can do it.