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  • Writer's pictureSam Stone

7 Tips for Coping Through the Puppy Blues


Is puppy parenthood wearing you down a little?


As undeniably one of the cutest animals in the world, it’s understandable that puppies make us emotional — they give us the warm fuzzies, they love us unconditionally (even when they’ve only known us for a day!), and they have this magic ability to simultaneously make us feel overjoyed and overwhelmed.


For new puppy owners who are trying to do everything right, it can be exhausting. You may notice your emotions keep fluctuating: adoring your cute furball one moment, and then suddenly feeling like you’re failing as a pet parent.


Welcome to the Puppy Blues! Anxiety, exhaustion, and sadness are normal, rational feelings that puppy owners experience.


So, do you have to just ride it out, feeling stressed and exhausted until your pooch grows up? Just live with anxiety until your little overactive poop-monster blossoms into one of those mature dogs you see playing poker and drinking whiskey with his fancy friends? No!


You can take actions to help yourself cope with the feelings right now, while still raising your pup (and I promise, you are doing an absolutely fine job raising your pup).


Let me remind you that yes, the puppy blues will end. I know that doesn’t help you in this exact moment. So in the meantime, here are 7 strategies to help you cope with the Puppy Blues.


1. Find a Network of Support

You are not the only one feeling this way about your pup — I guarantee it. And the reason I know is because I’ve spent plenty of time in online support groups where other people talk about having these same feelings.


Find a network of supportive people that you can talk to, vent to, and lean on through your puppyhood journey.


Go beyond just your existing friends. If you have some close friends you can talk to when you’re feeling stressed, that is great. But if they aren’t currently taking care of a puppy too, there will be some gaps.


Seek out a network, online or in-person, of other puppy owners who are also going through the stages of puppyhood with you. This will help you feel firsthand that you aren’t alone. Celebrate wins together, and share stories of frustrations with others who get it and can validate how you’re feeling.


With your puppy support group, you’ll be able to say “Hey, I’m tired and my puppy is kind of driving me up the wall today” and they will understand and not judge you, and not actually think that you are a big mean puppy-hater. They will get what you’re saying. It’s very freeing.


Here are a few:


The Puppy 101 community on Reddit is my favorite. They have created a Puppy Blues tag for all threads specific to this topic. Even if you don’t want to participate in posting comments yourself, it can be validating and therapeutic to read through what other people are saying and hear them echo your own feelings.


Dog Forum has a “New Additions” section, for people who’ve recently gotten a dog or are getting a dog.


The "Dog Chat" and "Dog Training and Behaviour" categories are both filled with great discussions about puppies and the experience of puppy ownership.


You can also seek out breed-specific forums, such as:


And if you just want to read some similar experiences, here are a few blog posts written by other people about their Puppy Blues:

2. Give Yourself Time Away From Your Puppy

Similar to human babies, puppies don’t always know when they are overtired. And just like with human babies, we can put our puppies down for a nap — whether they feel like it or not.


Scheduled naps are okay and encouraged. You don’t have to solely follow your puppy’s lead for when she sleeps and when she’s awake.


It is perfectly okay to crate your puppy when you need a break. She won’t mind (even if she has something to say about it at first). Remember that she is safe in her crate, and that you are here for her most of the day.


It does not make you a “bad” pet owner to crate your dog when you are feeling at your wit’s end and you need a breather. You’ll be a better caregiver when you’re rested and refreshed. And you may find that a nap was exactly what your pup needed, too.


A little bit of “me time” is good for you and your pup. See if you can fit in a puppy nap at least once a day, and give yourself some daily breathing time.


3. Ask a Friend to Puppysit

Do you know someone who likes puppies?


I’m willing to bet that you probably have friends or relatives, who don’t currently have to deal with a puppy 24/7, who would love to hang out with your puppy. Those puppy dog eyes are hard to resist — especially for the people who haven’t just spent all morning cleaning up poop!


You don’t have to do this all on your own. Ask a friend or family member that you trust to hang out with your pup for a while, maybe for a few hours, or the entire afternoon. It works as a double benefit, giving you some “time off” from puppy duty while also helping to socialize your pup and get her comfortable with different people. It’s important to expose puppies to a variety of people at a young age, to help them learn that people aren’t scary. Without socialization, a dog may grow up to be fearful, defensive, or reactive when meeting new people.


So, now that your sister is happily taking your pup for the afternoon, do something special with your time. Practice one of your favorite hobbies. Watch a movie, uninterrupted. Take a bath (if you like baths). Paint your nails. Lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling with loud music blaring throughout the house.


You do you!


When your pup comes back from her outing, I bet you’ll both be delighted to see each other.


4. Put Some Life Chores on ‘Maintenance Mode’ For the Time Being

Getting a puppy changes your life. Of course, becoming a dog owner is a permanent lifestyle change, but in the short-term, the stages of puppyhood bring major temporary changes to your day-to-day routines.


You cannot do all of the same work, hobbies, and activities you were doing pre-puppy. Housebreaking, training, cleaning, and caring for the pup takes up a lot of time in the schedule, not to mention energy.


I don’t say this to make you despair — once your pup grows up, you will be able to resume your activities and fit more into the schedule (just with added dog walks in your routine, and vet visits here and there). No worries.


But in the meantime, while you are raising a puppy, you’ll need to drop some other priorities to give your time and energy to the ball of fluff that relies on you.


So, cut down to the basics: work, eating/making meals, puppy care, and self-care. Put everything else on hold or on “maintenance mode” — meaning put it on autopilot, and do the basics to keep it going. No extra.


You likely need to go grocery shopping, but can you give yourself permission to ease up on cooking complex meals? Could you switch to very basic meals (30 min or less)? Can you afford to add a few more nights of take-out to your monthly budget, just for now?


Don’t put pressure on yourself to be extra productive, or even the same level of productive that you were pre-puppy. Puppyhood is a temporary chapter of your life so during this time, cut yourself some slack on your productivity game.


5. Create a Mantra

Choose a phrase that you can repeat to yourself in moments where you feel like you want to scream, or cry, or collapse (or all of the above). Saying it in your head works, but I find out loud to be more effective.


A personal mantra that works well for me is: “This is temporary.”


You don’t have to use mine (but feel free, I’m happy to share it!). Choose something that speaks to you at your core, that addresses the aspects of life you feel really anxious about.


Don’t choose something subjective. A good mantra is undeniably true, and that is what makes it powerful.


For example, “This is temporary” is something my brain cannot argue against. It’s true, no matter what. I can certainly argue “but it’s taking a long time” or “I can’t believe it’s not over yet” or “how will I get through it?” but I can’t truthfully say “this isn’t temporary.” I know that it is. I know the mantra is accurate.


So choose something truthful. Maybe write it down and pin it on your wall. Or make it the background on your phone screen. Or write it on your forehead in backwards letters, so you can read it when you look in the mirror, and so that other people who walk past you will squiggle their eyebrows real hard trying to figure out what’s written on your forehead.


Here are a few mantra ideas:

  • This is one chapter of my life.

  • I am strong.

  • I’m having a new life experience.

  • I am learning and growing.

  • I’ve made it through every bad day so far.

  • My feelings always shift and change. This is simply the one that's here now.


6. Make Yourself a Coping Box

Grab an empty shoebox, or one of those Amazon shipping boxes that is sitting by your door that you haven’t recycled yet, and make yourself a coping box. A coping box is a box you can grab whenever you feel like you’re in over your head.


Fill the box with items that help you feel calm, that ground you, and that give you strength. For instance, you might toss in a stress ball, a fidget cube, a notecard where you’ve written your mantra in large letters, or a journal and pen for you to vent out your feelings. Include something that soothes you, like a lavender candle, a scented perfume, or a favorite lotion to gently rub on your skin when you’re all worked up. Print out this blog post and put it in there if you want, or some other way-better-written-post that has helped you.


Bonus: If you enjoy arts and crafts, you can also make a fun project of decorating the outside of the box.


Now, most importantly, put the box somewhere that’s easy for you to get it when you need it (but NOT easy for teething puppies to get to!). Maybe on your bookshelf, next to your nightstand, on top of your dresser, or that weird spot on the counter where you seem to always dump random stuff (okay, maybe don’t choose that spot… ).


7. Get Professional Pup Support

Let me preface this point by saying that you don’t need a professional dog trainer in order to raise your puppy well. There are plenty of resources out there, from puppy raising books to blogs and support forums, which can guide you and answer questions you have about caring for your pup.


With that said, if you’ve already tried plenty of reading and learning on your own, and you’re at your wit’s end or just tired of struggling with puppy predicaments, there is nothing wrong with seeking professional support.


If you have the budget, hire a trainer and/or sign up for puppy obedience classes. If your pup is exhibiting some challenging behaviors, a trainer can give you concrete strategies that are tailored to your dog’s unique personality. A professional can help validate what you’re doing, answer your questions, and ease your concerns.


At the very least, a dog trainer can confirm that you are, indeed, doing a great job raising this puppy. And when a pro tells you that you’re doing fine, you know you’re doing fine.

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